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Women's health has been a recurring focus of my life, beginning as a young woman doing community volunteer work. But as steeped as I am in medical and traditional reproductive health facts, I was at a loss when I went through menopause, since the topic has long been under-studied and misunderstood (even shamed) in popular culture. So many conflicting opinions, waves of scientific data and individual responses to the condition, I didn't know what was coming. Who even knew, as a young woman, that finding the best lubricants for menopause dryness was going to be super-important? Including daily use as a personal moisturizer and for sex during menopause, for sensitive skin and various ingredient preferences (oil-based, organic, etc.), there's a lot of preferences to consider. Women, sooner or later you'll find out first-hand that this personal care product is essential, right before during and yes even after your periods stop completely—because the end of menopause doesn't mean the end of lubrication).
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The Cleveland Clinic sums up menopause as “a point in time when a person has gone 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period. Menopause is a natural part of aging and marks the end of your reproductive years.” On average, this event occurs at age 51, and besides your period ending, involves other natural occurrences including hot flashes, "menopause brain" aka brain fog, mood swings, joint pain, painful sex and irritability. While numerous women’s health advocates we spoke with agreed that there’s an increased conversation among the public and media (TikToks even) about menopause, one “time of life” symptom that often gets ignored is vaginal dryness.
How I Vetted The Lubricants
First, I interviewed experienced health care professionals about how and why to use moisturizers and lubricants during perimenopause, menopause and post-menopause. Next, I pored over reviews posted by users who opined about formulations, ingredients and how the products felt to use. And I personally tested many of these products, which I've addressed on a product-by-product basis. I have come away from my deep dive into the best lubricants for menopause dryness, and want to spread the message that menopausal discomfort is totally treatable and a better quality of life is achievable. And I continue to depend on many of these products today.
The 6 Best Lubricants for Menopause Dryness at a Glance
The 10 Best Sex Toys for Boomers, According to a Sex Educator and Our Fave Vibrator Peddlers
1. Rosebud Honor Balm
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We recommend this elegant little jar of lightly pink balm for its ability to glide on like Vaseline (which many opt against due to its petroleum-based formula and artificial ingredients) and then, when warmed by the vulvar skin, to soften into a quickly absorbing liquid. It’s pricey, however the whole experience, from its skincare-like tangerine glass jar to the nearly imperceptible botanical scent (is that the German chamomile I’m detecting?), makes this feel your vagina’s getting a luxury facial. “I have been in great need of something that is hydrating to my dry extremely sensitive private parts. This product is amazing in ALL aspects!” writes reviewer Tricia S.
2. Stripes Vag of Honor
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Super lightweight, this gel has ingredients for all the ways your privates can act up: there’s ectoine and squalene, active ingredients used in face skincare that lock in skin moisture and form an environmental barrier. “This is a very nice product, the packaging is glass and it has a pump to get the product out—I think that is so helpful to use. This product has helped my menopausal skin so much, I have had such dry skin,” writes one reviewer. “With the blend of Hyaluronic acid and glycogen, this moisturizer can be used daily to maintain hydration. This product will last a while because you only need to use 1-2 pumps.” The hyaluronic acid deeply moisturizes, while the vegan glycogen helps keep the vaginal skin area to its naturally healthy, slightly acidic pH level. Plus, the rounded bottle and heavy glass has style, and we appreciate how the label is subtly discreet, rather than spelling out VAGINA TREATMENT in big clear letters.
3. Womaness Coco Bliss
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This coconut-oil based vaginal moisturizer has so many uses, I'm just shy of using it as a spread on my toasted morning muffin. “Many of us have heard that coconut oil can be helpful for intimate relationships but who wants to keep a kitchen tub of it in the bedroom?" writes Idaho-based reviewer Dr. Kellye Schab. "Coco Bliss not only performs well in intimate moments, but the packaging is discrete and easy to use. Knowing that it has been studied for intimate use gives me the confidence to apply it. Plus, the product smells amazing and is great on dry skin such as my knees, feet, and elbows!” The brand recommends using it not only as a daily intimate moisturizer, but also on any dry skin. And the formula, which can be a bit unevenly textured until it all melts on contact, is useful as a sex lube, too. Finally, I’ve been known to smooth a bit on my hair for a chunky post blow-dry look. A slight caveat: It you’re super-duper sensitive to smells, the sweet almond oil and vanilla bean might make you think it’s perfumed, but those are just the natural scents of the non-irritating ingredients. Note to the brand: At 4 ounces, this size is too large for a carry-on bag, so we suggest a smaller travel kit, stat.
4. Luna Daily The Hydrating Everywhere Spray-to-Wipe
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This hybrid cleansing/hydration formula gets our vote for being non-irritating and lightly moisturizing, as well as small enough to keep in a gym bag for when you need to freshen and moisturize on the go. “I’m so happy with this spray! It’s easier than using wipes to freshen up on the go. Super refreshing and the scent is light and natural. My skin feels clean and hydrated,” writes one reviewer. It contains no soap, so it’s not drying, and it’s a subtle enough formula that it can be used by women who menstruate, too, for a vitamin-enhanced skin cleansing.
5. Maude
The natural moisturizing properties of aloe are the sell here, in this all-natural lubricant that’s a crowd pleaser for its suitability for use with toys and in intimate situations as it is for day-to-day vulvar skin care. Vegan, cruelty-free and free of parabens or fragrance, this pH-balanced formula sinks right into your intimate area, so it doesn’t stain fabrics like oil-based products can do. Finally, we are big fans of the dark-brown FDA PET plastic container with a pump top, since you can leave it out on your bedside and it looks like a fancy lotion, not a personal lubricant. “Great for sensitive skin,” writes reviewer Moon R. “This is the perfect texture, silky smooth without getting sticky and it lasts a good long while. I love the aloe base because it doesn’t irritate my skin at all whereas a lot of other organic lubricants do.”
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6. Coconu Oil-Based Singles
I'm a big fan of this little set of pouches, since they are small, discreet packable options for weekend trips or whatever. I never worry about them breaking open and leaving my luggage gooey and gross. This box of pouches is handy for use as an everyday lubricant, a sexual lubricant or even a massage oil. The USDA-certified organic formula is cruelty-free and entirely edible, and has a texture that is a little thicker than a fluid, thanks to the coconut oil in the blend. On application, it liquifies close to instantly, and the non-petroleum based ingredients quickly absorb into delicate tissues. And though each pouch is slender, the 1.4 ounce contents can stretch to two applications.
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What Causes Menopause Dryness?
“When you go through menopause, your body’s estrogen levels fall by about 90 percent,” says Dr. Pelz. She says that in addition to hot flashes, irritability, and fatigue, “there’s also a less talked-about (but important!) side effect of low estrogen: vaginal dryness. Estrogen regulates the vagina’s lubrication and elasticity, and when estrogen levels drop, a lot of menopausal women experience dryness as a result.”
Dr. Prabakar adds that, “when it comes to vaginal and vulvar dryness specifically, this type of dryness can cause vaginal bleeding. When the tissue becomes so dry, it can chafe easily and cause bleeding. This is the most common cause of postmenopausalvaginal bleeding and can also affect the urethral tissue due to the lack of estrogen. This causes frequent urinary tract infections in women above 50.” The menopause expert goes onto explain that the lack of estrogen in the vulva can also affect the urethra and the bladder, a fact that most women do not know. "So when you replenish the estrogen in the vulva, you are also helping with symptoms like urinary urgency, frequency and sometimes incontinence," she says. "So vaginal estrogen is such an important treatment to consider post-menopause."
During menopause, the vaginal skin “appears, due to lack of estrogen, to thin and enters a dormant state,” says Dr. La Follette. “So the elasticity, the lubrication and normal pH of the vagina are lost. The vagina skin loses elastin and collagen and becomes thin, dry and friable. The pH of the vagina increases (the vagina become less acidic) and can lead to vaginal infections like yeast and bacterial vaginosis.”
What Is the Difference Between a Lubricant and a Moisturizer?
“There are products that are used on a daily or weekly basis to maintain hydration in a similar fashion to the creams we apply to our face. These are viewed as vaginal moisturizers rather than lubricants,” Dr Fenske says. For instance, WomanessDaily V Soothe (part of a brand Dr. Fenske advises) is a daily water-based hyaluronic acid formula that is meant to maintain the moisture of the vagina and be used as part of a skincare regimen.“There are also lubricants that are used for lubrication for vaginal penetration and to help reduce friction,” says Dr. Fenske.“These lubricants can be water-based, silicone-based or oil-based.”
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Why are there separate formulations for sex during menopause? It's because the body's usual lubrication has been lessened by peri- or menopause. “As a result of hormone fluctuations during menopause, vaginal secretions lessen and (even when a woman is sexually stimulated) the vagina may remain dry which can make sex painful,” says Dr. La Follette. “The vagina also becomes less acidic, which increases the risk of infection and irritation. Intercourse becomes painful as now the vaginal skin has changed to a thin non-elastic and non-lubricated membrane: bleeding and pain with sex can occur.” In her practice, she recommends a three-pronged treatment: moisturize, lubricate and apply a vaginal estrogen.
What about Localized Estrogen Therapy?
Vaginal estrogens, which come in formulations including a ring, a vaginal pill or a vaginal cream, are effective and safe ways to combat vaginal dryness as well as urinary symptoms, according to Dr. Prabakar. However, lingering controversies surrounding hormone therapy leave many women reticent to undertake it and doctors hesitant to prescribe it. (Unlike the over-the-counter remedies we’ve outlined here, vaginal estrogen requires a prescription from a doctor.) Dr. La Follette is unstinting in her assessment: “One of the great disservices of the FDA is that despite many studies of the safety of vaginal estrogen, even in women with breast cancer, the package insert is an alarmist inaccurate treatise. Namely, vaginal estrogen remains enormously safe and even the statistics in the black box warning in the vaginal estrogen package are misleading.”
It's between you and your doctor if prescription medicines (or procedures, such as the laser treatment one of our friends undertook, that was also lauded by Dr. La Follette) are right for you. In the meantime, there are a bathroom cabinet’s worth of non-prescription formulations to lessen the discomfort and lube up the vagina, outlined above.
Meet the Experts
The Best Lube for Women, According to Experts and Reviewers
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